Subscribe
E-Paper
 |
Some of those readers, which I imagine must have Korean spouses, commented that their family members, like their parents-in-law and their spouses, kept records of how much money each guest gave on special occasions, such as weddings and funerals. When they later also have to attend similar events, the first thing they do is look in their records and check how much those guests gave them.
It was interesting to realize that this practice might appear unusual to people from other cultures. Koreans look in their records to determine how much they should pay, of course. If you give more than you have received, that is totally fine if you want. However, you would not want to be embarrassed to later find out that you gave less than you had received.
Wedding gift money, or cash, which is given for any other occasion, is a complicated issue in Korea.
Of course, the very first criterion for determining the amount you should give is how close you are to the person whom the special event is for.
However, if you look on the internet where people can remain anonymous, you will find numerous interesting and frank questions that go further, like, "How much shall I give if the person gave me this much back then, and by the way, should I also take into account inflation?" or "Should I attend the wedding or, if I don't, should I send less gift money? Which would be better?"
On top of the question, "How much did that person give you at your wedding?" there come other criteria such as, "Where is the event being held?" If it is being held at a luxurious hotel, the guests begin wondering if they should put more cash in the envelope, since the meal served is expensive, and so on.
Another case is if the attendee has to spend money for travel ― KTX or flights ― to attend a wedding held far from where they live, they begin wondering if they might be able to give less money to make up for those expenses.
All of these complications seem to arise as the money given for weddings or any other special events in Korea has been serving more as a form of insurance than a purely congratulatory or consolatory gift.
There is research on this topic by Son Hye-lim and Song Heon-jae, both economics professors at the University of Seoul.
They examined Korean households' practices of getting paid back the gift money they spent on special occasions such as weddings and funerals, by receiving gift money for their own special events. In the study, which covered a 10-year period, a 10,000-won increase in gift money spending led to a 9,880-won increase in gift money income for the households. The researchers explained that the results show that gift money spent is fully compensated later.
"The analysis shows that the gift money tradition in Korea functions properly as a form of insurance. It lessens the financial risks of special occasions that require immense spending in a short time," the study states.
However, this study published in 2018 also suggested that the insurance role of gift money starts losing ground as people's perceptions of community and marriage change. As more people remain single and their connections to certain communities gets weaker, they begin to wonder, "Will I be able to get this back?"
According to a recent survey on 300 single Koreans by matchmaking company Duo, 66 percent of female respondents and 48 percent of males said they feel "burdened" when they receive a wedding invitation. When asked why, they pointed to ambiguous relations with the person who invited them: maybe they are not close enough to warrant an invitation; others cited the financial pressure.
The 2018 study noted that the cash gift tradition can lead to economic inefficiency if it doesn't reflect changes in society. "As its function as insurance decreases, it can add a burden to individuals in the name of tradition," it predicted.
Now that prediction seems to have come true.
The writer (yjy@koreatimes.co.kr) is finance editor of The Korea Times.
