In Confucian teachings, ethics and virtue should guide human relations. A seemingly immediate loss in material or physical conflicts may turn out to be a victory in the long run. Settlement by law was always the second-best choice.
However, the rustic agrarian Korea where admonitions of the elders guided youngsters has long gone. Now living together with more than two million foreign residents in this digitally connected global community, contemporary Koreans are threatened by borderless online criminals.
Since a few years ago, government regulators have been revamping banking systems to prevent ever-more-sophisticated financial crimes. In the past, anyone could open a bank account with a simple process. But now it is getting more and more difficult to open an account if you cannot produce evidence of your legitimate source of income and stable residence.
Family members can still draw money on behalf of a family member, but that is now allowed only with official authorization for legally designated bank accounts of the elderly or disabled in a family.
To cope with increasing social needs, the government radically revised the Civil Act in 2013, and launched an "adult guardianship" system. The new law enhanced the previous treatment of an incompetent or quasi-incompetent person to an adult guardianship, including medical treatment and welfare in addition to property-management.
Both my mother and mother-in-law survived their husbands by 30 years. My mother-in-law passed away late last year. She had lived in her house to the last minute. At age 101, she slept most of the hours for the last few days, and slowly and silently left us. Our family saw this as a "natural and happy" ending. She lived and died like a lady of the Joseon Dynasty (1392-1910). No law interfered with ordinary people's lives back then.
On the other hand, my mother is now beginning her fifth year of staying in a hospice. Mom had abhorred the kind of situation she is now in. She had a stroke in 2013 and now she cannot do anything but raise her right arm. She is in the hands of professional caretakers in the best environment available, but she is most unhappy all the same.
Earlier this year, my family elected me to be mom's guardian on behalf of the family. The process is by no means simple because the statute basically assumes that someone may try to take and misuse the money of the protected, disabled ward. Depending on the states in the U.S. a protector is called a guardian or conservator.
Now I am registered with the Family Court as the guardian of my mom after a court hearing to verify my qualifications, motivation and status. There was also a one-hour tutoring on the demanding legal duties of a guardian.
I remember some dramatic stories of my friend's families, such as one in which her older brother kidnapped her mother, who had a sizable fortune, when her daughters were trying to take her home from a hospital checkup.
There is also the world-class family-feud episode of the Lotte group. To determine the mental capability of the 95-year-old chairman, the family hospitalized him in May 2016. But after three days without speaking a word, Chairman Shin went home, foiling the whole plan.
The duties of a guardian include: reporting the whole cash and properties of the ward together with documentary evidence, reports of spending together with receipts and getting prior court approval for any ad-hoc spending.
The judge told me he liked families like ours, which have no conflicting interest among members. I thank god that the work of being my mom's guardian is minor. And maybe it is much better than having nothing in her name at all. However, for the benefit of the next generation, I plan to simplify my life beginning today. Maybe just one bank account is enough; and the less financial transactions the better!
Kim Ji-myung is the chairwoman of the Korea Heritage Education Institute (K*Heritage). Her email address is Heritagekorea21@gmail.com.