Is it the echo of the parents
who remain in the unconscious?
Is it a rod of invisible words?
Why do we dislike nagging?
Is the brain so sensitive?
Is nagging an invitation to keep getting smaller?
Does it mean to be infinitely humble?
How do you feel when someone keeps nagging? In general, we feel bad and hurt when someone continues nagging. Little by little, nagging builds up barriers in our hearts. When the heart is closed, human relationships become unstable.
Is nagging an expression of love and concern? Does it express repressed anger or a sense of false superiority?
According to some dictionaries, nagging is defined as continually and persistently finding fault, complaining, criticizing, irritating, scolding, annoying, or worrying. Nagging causes continual or recurring worry, anxiety, pain and discomfort.
Nagging is an unpleasant feeling that continues for a long period of time. Nagging is habitual talk that is often useless, repeated, and exaggerated.
All of us know that nobody is perfect. So then, why do some people keep nagging?
When I have to listen to a person who nags often, much inner power of patience, self-control, and silence are needed so as not to respond emotionally or impulsively. In many ways, I think nagging is a negative and undesirable habit that should be overcome, even where much effort is required.
According to some psychoanalysts, nagging is a kind of narcissism. People who nag think they are superior to others; feel that they are absolutely right, which is not true at all. People nag because of their sense of restlessness and anxiety. They nag because they are afraid that others will not understand the situation well. So, such people become obsessive about letting others know perfectly and they try to emphasize the meaning. Aging also causes one to nag.
Psychologically, it is said that a person nags continuously when he or she has grown up in a family whose parents often nag their children. Such habitual nagging is inadvertently handed down to their kids.
Without much effort, nagging has a bad effect on others. Furthermore, when one doesn't control his or her emotion, nagging might become a command, ferocious expression, and aggressive comments. As a result, nagging causes interference, control, demand, restraint, repulsion, and defense.
The most representative form of nagging would be telling a person to study. Mothers are inclined to keep telling their children to study. However, even though studying is a must, children don't like to hear this kind of nagging due to the instinctive or impulsive reaction of the brain.
The brain reacts well to something new, creative and intriguing. Naturally, it concentrates well on new and unexpected information, but it shows a nervous response to what the mind has already learned, stored and expects. Thus, when someone talks about these things in the psyche, when we bind to behavior that we know already but we don't practice, and when we hurt our self-esteem by saying we don't sufficiently understand, our brains respond nervously and sensitively. That's why we dislike nagging.
Before nagging, why don't we take a deep breath, take a walk, and be a bit more patient? Instead of confronting somebody immediately, why don't we reflect in silence for a while and show that person some understanding?
The author is a member of the Daughters of St. Paul (fsp.pauline.or.kr.) living and giving the Good News to the world by means of social communication.