A grandfather was sitting by a campfire with his grandson. They talked about God, the world and human beings. After a moment's silence, the grandfather said, "Shall I tell you how I feel sometimes? It is like two wolves fighting each other in my heart. One wolf is aggressive, cheeky, excitable, always looking for his own strengths and trying to be the best. The other wolf, on the other hand, is quiet, calm, compassionate, empathetic and kind."
After a while, the grandson asked, "Which wolf will win the fight?" The grandfather remained silent for a while, then looked at his grandson and said, "The wolf I feed with thoughts, words, emotions and actions wins."
This story originally belongs to the Cherokee tribe, saying that "In my heart, there are two wolves: a wolf of love and a wolf of hate. It all depends on which one I feed each day."
As the story of the two wolves in our hearts clearly implies the duality we all possess, we have "a wolf of love and a wolf of hate" in our hearts. A wolf of love represents empathy, compassion, kindness, joy, hope, humility, generosity, faith, calmness, charity, truth and peace. A wolf of hate represents ill will, disdain, aggression, jealousy, sadness, regret, greed, inferiority, false self-respect, selfishness, pride, envy, fear, deceit, etc. It all depends on which one we feed each day.
Talking about "sin and death," Saint Paul the apostle confessed our duality in Romans 7: 15-23:
"What I do, I do not understand. For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate… For I know that good does not dwell in me, that is, in my flesh. The willing is ready at hand, but doing the good is not. For I do not do the good I want, but I do the evil I do not want. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. So, then, I discover the principle that when I want to do right, evil is at hand. For I take delight in the law of God, in my inner self, but I see in my members another principle at war with the law of my mind..."
Why do we tend to be more negative? Why do negative emotions come first in our hearts?
It is said that 70 percent of our instinctive expressions come from negative emotions such as fear, jealousy, sadness, criticism, competition, comparison, etc. Among these, there are only two positive emotions: love and joy.
That is why it is easier to feel, think and express something in a critical, judging and negative way.
Then, what shall we do to prevent our hearts from reacting in a negative way?
The first thing to consider in order to be positive is to acknowledge and to be conscious of our duality. As many psychologists and spiritual directors emphasize, acknowledging and accepting reality as it is without defending it is the first step in dealing with our duality.
The second important countermeasure is to have the attitude of giving thanks. Being grateful can transform our mindsets to be more positive.
The author is a member of the Daughters of St. Paul (fsp.pauline.or.kr) living and giving the Good News to the world by means of social communication.