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The Internet is a very useful tool but it can be a dangerous place if you don't protect yourself and your children. We all share the responsibility to prepare children for living safely in the digital world we have created. They need to learn how to filter information and gain decision-making skills ― the core skills of media literacy.
These skills of critical inquiry prepare children to make wise decisions when searching and using online resources, helping to achieve safety and security in all aspects of their lives. Below are four points to consider when monitoring your child's online behavior.
1. Reduce their exposure to vulgar language.
There are areas in cyberspace that are not necessarily appropriate for children and teens and may contain vulgar language. You need to set rules about where kids can go online. Keep any connected computer in a public area of the house, rather than in a child's bedroom.
Consider installing monitoring software that tracks where kids have been. It's usually a good idea to let them know you're doing so. Consider not allowing children and teens to use the Internet when there is no adult in the house. You may wish to consider using time-limiting software to make sure that kids can only go online when you're around. Installing filtering software that blocks kids from visiting sites that you feel inappropriate is always a good choice.
2. Reduce the risk of your child meeting strangers online.
Pulling the plug on your child's favorite social site is like pulling the plug on his or her social life. Instead of being protective, it can shut down communication and send kids "underground" where they're more at risk.
It's too easy for them to set up free blogs and profiles from anywhere, including friends' houses or even a cell phone. Help them understand basic safety guidelines, such as protecting their privacy (including passwords), not harassing peers, never talking about sex with people they don't know, avoiding in-person meetings with people they "meet" online, and taking care in what they post ― because anything people put online can be grabbed, reworked, and used against them.
Tell your kids why it's important to keep some information private. Home addresses, phone numbers, and family financial information ― like bank account or credit card numbers ― should stay in the family. It's too much information for anyone else. Talk to your kids about phishing and help them activate private setting on their social networking profiles, blogs, and other accounts.
As parents you need to support critical thinking and social skills because no laws or parental-control software can protect better than a child developing good sense about safety and relationships. Research shows that kids who are aggressive and mean online toward peers or strangers are at greater risk of becoming victims themselves. So teach them to be good citizens and friends online as much as offline.
3. Protecting your child from sexually explicit and violent material.
We all know that there's just no way to shield kids from all sexually explicit content. But you can talk to them about it, and try to challenge the exaggerated notions of sex they see every day. Studies tell us that kids who see a lot of violence may be more aggressive. They may even learn that hurting others is okay.
With such a vast variety of information and images found online, the Internet has opened up a wide new set of topics for parents to discuss with their children. Most of us find it difficult to talk to our children about sex in general, let alone the harmful effects of pornography.
Yet, it's important to remember that even if your children are not looking for Internet pornography, chances are, they have come across harmful sexual content at some point, and it is your job to protect and guide them about their natural questions about sex.
4. Stop them sharing too much information.
In order to reap the benefits of socializing and making new friends, teens often disclose information about themselves that would typically be part of an acceptable "getting-to-know-you" process offline (name, school, personal interests, etc.). On social network sites, this kind of information is now posted online ― sometimes in full public view.
In some cases, this information is innocuous, but in other cases, disclosure reaches a level that is troubling. As parents, it is important to monitor the information, photos, blogs and videos your children post or send, to have conversations about privacy and personal security and remind your kids to think before they post.
If you're concerned about what your kids might come across or seek out online, there are tools to consider. Keep in mind that while parental controls work well for young children, teens who've been online for years probably won't have much trouble working around them or finding other computers to use.
The best way to protect your kids online is to talk to them. When children want important information, most rely on their parents ― so start the conversation with your kids early. Be upfront about your values and how they apply in an online context.
Sherlyn Kim is a certified international etiquette consultant and trainer and CEO of Molly Manners Korea (http://www.mollymanners.co.kr), a leading manners and etiquette institute that helps children build the necessary blocks for a solid future through poise, confidence, integrity and leadership. She has a thriving practice helping executives and business people advance in their careers, clarify their strategies and goals and increase the value of their organizations.
