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| Courtesy of Evelyn Jeong |
By Evelyn Jeong
Freedom means everything in my life. That's why I escaped from North Korea. I escaped for freedom. Both a free mind and a free lifestyle are required to have freedom, where you can travel anywhere and where you can join any religion. Instead of obeying someone else's rules, you can follow your own rules. While society may say one thing, you can disagree and make your own path. Life is yours, no one else's, so own it. Freedom is also independence, where you can find your own boundaries and make your own experiences, and by doing so, you will have a diverse mindset. To be free of money, where being rich doesn't make you happy, although it could be helpful, but following dreams and making friends is the real source of happiness. This is how I see freedom.
Most North Koreans choose to go to South Korea, but I wanted to go to America because I wanted to learn, study, and contribute to the democracy of the U.S. and live the American dream, as my mom strongly recommended. However, still stuck in Thailand, I was interviewed four times at the Bangkok refugee camp, and my mission to reach America seemed very far.
What trapped me in Thailand was waiting to be assigned to my foster parents in the United States. I was left alone for the very first time and soon felt very lonely. There was no one to take care of me when I was sick and I had memories of the loved ones I missed, such as my grandmother, which haunted me in my isolation. This loneliness taught me a valuable lesson, that family is everything in this world. I first discovered Christianity in Thailand from missionaries who were from China. I thought they were crazy, since they would close their eyes and talk to someone who was not there! After a few months I started accepting their beliefs, because they told me if you believe in God you would feel better.
After what seemed like an eternity, I finally gained my assignment to an American foster family and flew out to the U.S. full of hope. This hope quickly diminished when I realized a new type of isolation: I was not going to be able to communicate with other people in the United States.
Nov. 6, 2014, a day I will never forget, my arrival to the United States. I was both nervous and tired when my new American foster family welcomed me. I was not able to speak English at all, making it a very frightening period of time for me. However, with the help of my foster parents and my determination to learn, I was able to learn English quickly.
Getting to America, my plane landed near a bunch of farms, making me think America was all farmland and poor. But after going a few miles, we reached the city, and I was completely shocked and surprised to see how many cars there were and how huge the buildings were.
When I first met my foster family, they looked like giants, even their daughter who was younger than me. I always looked up to them. To celebrate my arrival with a first meal in America, my foster mom made an apple pie, but I never had cinnamon or cooked apples before. After one bite, the taste was so weird and foreign that I had to secretly throw it away.
I knew no English when I first got to America, and I am still learning more even today. Once in America, I was told to start High School ESL classes to learn the language. My foster family was a big help in learning English, since they would take turns every fifteen minutes to help me read books that we got from the library. I had to use a phone translator to talk to my foster family for a long time. After a while, I could have simple conversations in English, but important things needed translating.
I started American education as a freshman in high school. I was surprised about how diverse the school was, in just one classroom. My ESL class had people from countries around the world. I was happily surprised by my American teacher, who was a tall, handsome and muscular man, but his one flaw was that he was married and tattooed! Studying the world map was very eye opening! I had never even heard of Africa while in North Korea. High school overall was fun … but I do not want to go back.
Having gone through so many traumatic experiences and living in a foster family, I've learned how to deal with mental health problems. My main way is opening up to friends so I can feel understood, calm, and loved. We all have people around us who can help, we just have to ask. Also, I see a therapist, who helped me overcome my depression, loneliness, and anxiety, and I recommend finding help to anyone who experiences these feelings, since I have felt them all. Hey guys, I came from North Korea. If I can fix my mental health, so can you! Let's be happy together.
Since my arrival in the U.S., I have become so thankful for my foster family and for my new friends who helped me overcome my emotions and language barriers.
Evelyn Jeong is a North Korean defector living in the United States. She is now in South Korea on an extended trip to see family and friends. She will be a featured speaker at the Asia Regional Conference hosted by Freedom Speakers International on May 15, 2021. Above is an excerpt of her remarks as prepared for FSI's International Freedom Conference on April 3.
Her remarks were edited by Casey Lartigue Jr., co-founder of FSI and editor of Voices from the North.
