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Wearing shoes inside: NYT article sparks backlash from Korean, Korea-based communities

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gettyimagesbank

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By Jon Dunbar

An interactive article published by the New York Times has Asian American communities as well as residents of Asian countries up in arms. The article, essentially a list of advice from 45 "highly sociable people, from Ivy Getty to Rufus Wainwright," includes two tips advising party hosts not to require guests to remove their footwear before entering their homes.

"Please don't ask people to take off their shoes when entering your apartment. It's rude," Rebecca Gardner, an event and interior designer, was quoted as saying in the article, titled "How to Party (Without Regrets)."

"You can't be like, 'You can't touch this' and 'You have to take your shoes off' and 'If you spill something, you are in trouble.' Hosting is letting your guests enjoy themselves," added Romilly Newman, who Town & Country magazine called the "Gen-Z Martha Stewart."

Their advice rankled people who are used to no-shoes households, which includes Koreans and many Korean Americans.

"How do you say 'I have no Asian friends' in Caucasian?" Jeff Yang, a Wall Street Journal columnist, wrote in a social media post that went viral.

Shoes are gathered on a rack at a group home for children. Korea Times archive

Shoes are gathered on a rack at a group home for children. Korea Times archive

In Korea, as well as many other Asian countries, shoes are taken off at the entrance to homes and even some businesses such as restaurants with floor seating.

"I would take off my shoes in my own house, but know that's not the case for many Western households. I'd keep my shoes on if that's what they do in their own house, but I'd expect them to equally respect my rules when they're in my house," said Jung-soo, a Korean. "I think it's very basic manners to follow the host's rules."

"I don't know what's rude about hosting people in your home according to your rules," added Jenikah, also a Korean national. "Many people have different personal practices (like using coasters or putting their coats in a collective bed pile). When you enter someone's house you should oblige their policies, esp if you want to eat or drink what they're serving lol."

Ji-hoon, a Korean who has spent time living in the U.S., noted that he had difficulties over differences with this custom. "There were occasions when I had to ask the visitors at my apartment in Michigan to take off their shoes for me, and some genuinely showed discomfort for that," he said.

Michael Breen, author of "The Koreans," pointed out that the floor in Asian households is a much more communal space than in Western households. Traditionally, he said, "floors were for sitting and sleeping on. In fact, many houses had no beds, chairs, sofas or carpets."

He added that growing up in the U.K., his home allowed shoes indoors. "My first exposure to the shoes-off culture was with friends whose mothers worked," he said. "It was to save them housework."

Shoes are left outside a room at a school in Cheongju, North Chungcheong Province. Korea Times file

Shoes are left outside a room at a school in Cheongju, North Chungcheong Province. Korea Times file

Americans in Korea

Additionally, Americans of different ethnicities who have moved to Korea, registered their annoyance with the wearing-shoes-indoors advice.

"Having lived in Korea, my mom and I now operate a shoe-free house," said Ashleigh, an American. "I'm from West Virginia, and I would say most of us take off our shoes when we get home and go to our bedroom, but visitors keep shoes on in the dining room and living room."

Many saw this issue as a matter of hygiene, rather than a concern for etiquette.

"Yeah nah, it's rude to bring candida and dog poop into my house?" said Jason, a former resident of Korea who moved back to the U.S. "As of 2024 I thought we were all clear on the fact that city streets are disgusting and bring things like candida and other diseases in your home. It's quite narcissistic of Newman to value her shoes over your health."

"My take is Gardner suffers from a foot odor problem," said Bruce, an American who has lived in Korea and now is in China.

"Just saying. If you living in nyc and talk about taking off your shoes in somebody else's house as some kinda moral offense, you 1) dirty AF 2) clearly don't know any Asian people 3) likely actively dislike the Asian peoples," said Michael, a long-term foreign resident of Korea.

"What next, Imma go into your refrigerator without asking and f*** your wife?" asked Tracy, an American living in Korea. "Apparently I'm the guest, and I'm allowed. Don't judge me."

Graham, an American resident of Korea, also answered sarcastically. "It's a little dictatorial to insist that your guests use the toilet," he said. "I think that if someone is a guest in your home, they should be able to decide where to poop."

"Wearing shoes inside the house is nasty AF. Especially in NYC. Who knows what Lovecraftian biohazards you stepped on in those streets?" said Rachel, an American who has lived in Korea for about 12 years.

She recalled an experience in university, when she felt discomfort seeing her dorm roommates wearing shoes inside the room.

"I was flabbergasted when some of my classmates let their sneaker bottoms touch their mattress. That made my skin crawl," she said. "I thought: 'Dude, how many 14th Street roaches got squashed under those shoes before they touched your mattress?'"

She said she grew up wearing shoes inside, but she was aware that not all households allowed shoes indoors thanks to being friends with Asian Americans. "So I knew the culture. But I 110 percent embraced it after moving here," she said. "When I moved to Korea at 21, I almost immediately switched. These days I even wipe dogs' feet before they come indoors."

Shoes are piled up outside an apartment during a party in Canada. Korea Times photo by Jon Dunbar

Shoes are piled up outside an apartment during a party in Canada. Korea Times photo by Jon Dunbar

Canadians weigh in

Wearing shoes indoors is not as widespread in the West as many Koreans may think. It is an unthinkable offense to Canadians, about as bad as opening the windows when it's minus 30 degrees Celsius outside. This left many Canadians wondering if the two people quoted had no Canadian friends.

"As a Canadian, I always just thought the no shoes in the house policy was indicative of the fact that I lived in the country, and several months of the year you couldn't possibly wear shoes in the house because of all the snow and other crap on your shoes," said Joel, a Canadian former resident of Korea.

"I grew up in a farming town, where you'd change out of your entire outfit in the 'mud room' before you came in from the barn, because your shoes had manure on them and your clothes smelled like manure and were covered with hay dust and mud. You did NOT bring the outdoors into the house there," said Rob, a Canadian living in Seoul.

"I had no idea people left their shoes on in the house until I moved to Asia, and started meeting more people from other countries. I literally thought it was a 'TV' thing, like weird monocolor money," said Doug, a Canadian resident of Korea. "I only knew one Canadian family that allowed shoes on and when I found out I was so disgusted I never went to their place again. Shoes on with hardwood? Not great but OK I guess… ew but manageable. With carpet? GTFO."

Derek, a Canadian who grew up in a no-shoes-indoors household, recalled a sign his Australian-born dad placed next to the shoe rack, saying "Boots off or bugger off." He did make an exception for large parties, however.

"In my 20s, when I lived in a house with roommates and we'd throw keg parties for 100+ people a few times a year, we allowed both shoes and smoking indoors for the night, as the party inevitably spilled out into the front and back yards simultaneously," Derek recalled. "But the following day, we always rented a steam cleaner to repair the damage. Twenty to 30 people over to watch the game or something similar, that's still a shoes-off kind of party."

Jen, a Canadian former resident of Korea now in China, said she provides guests with knitted or plastic slippers. She added that some people can't take off their shoes.

"I once had a person say that they needed to keep on their shoes due to orthopedics so obviously there's no problem with that — completely understand," she said. "It's not a big deal and not the end of the world to just sweep the floor again after they leave."

A man sits on a couch with his shoes on. gettyimagesbank

A man sits on a couch with his shoes on. gettyimagesbank

Not all Americans

As well, some Americans spoke up that not all white Americans are comfortable with shoes inside.

"My family in America and Austria all ask guest to take off their shoes when entering the house," said Sonia, an American living in Korea. "They don't like dirt tracked on their carpets! This is not only an Asian thing, as my family has no Asian roots."

"Most of the time when people come to my house they take off their shoes," said Anthony, a former Korea resident who has moved back to the U.S. "The only exception is poker night because there's a lot of going in and out to smoke or play outside. Plus we have up to 16 guests, so I waive the shoes off rule and make sure I mop the floors the next day."

Jocelyn, a foreign resident of Korea who came from Alaska, said that her state can go both ways. "There can be a combo of dirty cold floors and no shoes allowed," she said. "People tend to bring slippers with them."





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