The term "helicopter mom" refers to a mother who hovers around her children like a helicopter and meddles in all sorts of things even after the children grow up and enter college or even the workforce. This concept is similar to "tiger mom," or mothers with excessive passion for education. "Helicopter mom" is a metaphor for mothers exercising strong influence, like the strong wind blowing out of a helicopter before landing.

Helicopter moms become learning managers for their children from an early age and even when the children grow up. When their children become members of society and get a job, they try to manage their children's careers and adjust their department placement. In contrast, Confucius gave his son, Bo Yu, an independent home education — an approach that offers a valuable lesson to today's helicopter mothers.

In Chapter 13 of the Ji Shi section of the Analects of Confucius, Chen Kang, a disciple of Confucius, asks Confucius' son, Bo Yu, saying, "Have you heard any lessons from your father different from what we have all heard?" Bo Yu replied, "No. He was standing alone once when I passed below the hall with hasty steps and said to me, 'Have you learned the Odes?'"

"On my replying, 'Not yet,' he added, 'If you do not learn the Odes, you will not be fit to converse with.' I retired and studied the Odes. Another day, he was in the same way, standing alone, when I passed by below the hall with hasty steps, he said to me, 'Have you learned 'the rules of Propriety (Courtesy)?' On my replying, 'Not yet,' he added, 'If you do not learn the rules of Propriety, your character cannot be established.' I then retired and learned the rules of Propriety. I have heard only these two things from him."

Chen Kang, quite delighted, said, "I asked one thing, and I have gotten three things. I have heard about the Odes. I have heard about the rules of Propriety. I have also heard that the superior man maintains a distant reserve toward his son."

From this story in the Analects of Confucius, we can see that Confucius' home education mainly emphasizes the importance of morality and character and focuses on instilling correct values and behavioral standards in children.

Confucius believed that it was important to provide emotional support to his son as he grew by encouraging him to study "The Odes." It is important for children to understand their feelings and grow emotionally. In addition, Confucius stressed learning moral values and etiquette by learning "The Rules of Propriety" to foster their character and morality rather than fixating only on their academic achievement.

In conclusion, Confucius' home education philosophy suggests ways for helicopter moms to influence their children in a better direction and makes us reconsider the value of education that emphasizes children's autonomy, morality and emotional support.

Park Sung-ik (parksi48@naver.com) is a retired English teacher from Pungmoon Girls' High School.